Stress and Serious Illness: Understanding the Fight, Flight, or Freeze Response
When you’re diagnosed with a serious illness—like breast cancer or heart disease—it affects more than just your body. It can stir up deep emotions, shift your thoughts, and unsettle your sense of safety. You may feel overwhelmed, afraid, or even emotionally numb. These responses are normal—and deeply human.
These reactions are part of a built‑in survival system known as the fight, flight, or freeze response. It’s hardwired into all of us to help protect when we sense danger—or under significant stress. When you’re living with a serious illness, that same system can leave you feeling stuck or emotionally exhausted, especially when recovery feels like a long path.
What is the Fight, Flight, or Freeze Response?
Your body has a natural defense system—designed to protect you from threats, whether those are facing a wild animal or receiving tough medical news. When you sense danger—like pain, diagnosis, or a major life change—your brain triggers an internal alarm that something isn’t right. Hormones flood in, and your body gears up for one of three responses:
- Fight: You feel a surge to take action or defend yourself.
- Flight: You may want to avoid or escape the situation.
- Freeze: You might feel stuck, numb, or disconnected.
These responses are automatic—not something you can directly choose. And when stress builds over time, it can make these reactions feel even stronger.
How It Might Show Up for You (or Someone You Love)
Living with serious illness can trigger these responses in ways such as:
- Fight: Feeling determined to “beat” the illness—advocating for second opinions, “pushing through” the pain, fatigue, or other symptoms, or trying to take control of every treatment decision.
- Flight: Avoiding conversations about your illness, skipping appointments, or distracting yourself with other things so you don’t have to think about what’s happening.
- Freeze: Feeling emotionally numb, disconnected from your body, or unable to make decisions—like you’re watching life from the outside.
What Can Help You Move Through It
While you can’t always control when these responses show up, there are simple tools you can use to feel more grounded and empowered:
- Ground yourself with techniques like deep breathing or focusing on your senses to get back into your body (like the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise).
- Move your body in ways that make you feel calm, like walking, gentle yoga, or stretching.
- Talk with a counselor or palliative care team who understand the emotional journey of serious illness and can help you process what’s happening.
- Practice self‑compassion, reminding yourself that feeling scared, angry, or wanting to avoid things isn’t a failure—it’s a human response.
How Palliative Care Can Help
Palliative care teams are trained to treat you as a whole person, whether that’s your mind, body, or spirit. However you respond in a moment of stress, you don’t need to do it alone. Palliative care can help.
Palliative care is specialized medical care for people living with a serious illness. This type of care is focused on relief from the symptoms and stress of a serious illness. The goal is to improve quality of life for both the patient and the family. Palliative care is provided by a specially trained team of doctors, nurses, social workers, chaplains, and other specialists who work together with your other doctors to provide an extra layer of support. It is appropriate at any age and at any stage in a serious illness and can be provided alongside curative treatments.
Final Thoughts
If you or someone you love is experiencing stress related to a serious illness, it’s okay to ask for help. Understanding how your body reacts is often the first step to feeling more supported, less overwhelmed, and more in control.
To learn more about palliative care and how it can help, explore more of GetPalliativeCare.org. You’ll find helpful resources, including a quick quiz to see if palliative care might be right for you or your loved one living with serious illness.
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